CapitolSwell

Every tweet, every ping, every status update is about losing electricity or being stuck in traffic. It snowed and we got punched in the nuts. This weather sucks and people should have been sent home at 200 pm.

I wish I could say it’s nice to be warm but in reality things are a bit crappy. Fuck! I have managed to royally screw up.

I want to take my fuck ups and turn it into a Wes Anderson movie. I already feel like a mix of royal tennenbaums with rushmore. Smart, great potential, screw-up dreamer. Fuck me.

I saw then that my topmost glory was also my topmost grief.-Melville Moby Dick

Women should always wear boots! Always.

I have vertigo onset by flashy visual queues.  3D movies scary me as I never know how my head will react.  Will I find myself on the floor of a movie theater?  I don’t want to watch 3D movies.  I’d rather wait for the a holo-deck like simulation where  am in the movie.  My last bout of Vertigo was at SHock Trauma, being wheeled around on my back with lets flashing by set me off.  I puked all over everything.  I digress.  I want to watch 3D movies but  my vertigo gives me pause.

I’ve been dreaming of oysters since yesterday. Must have oysters but I don’t have a raw bar near me. I wish social Safeway had a raw bar. Ha ha ha. I have no idea why that’s funny. I like a nice minoette, that’s 99% spelled wrong. I guess hanks is the near by. Do oysters have a side dish? Hush puppies? Steamed rice? Steak fries? Dreaming of oysters…

I’m smoking a cigar. Its my pregame ritual. Let’s go Ravens!

When did Alyssa Milano’s Twitter feed become my main news source.  Her feed hits on relevant topics and has a nice charitable bent.  Seriously over the past month I have been checking my twitter feed and as soon as something happens she is right on top of it.  Alyssa Milano should start her own news network but have her own brand of editorial.

If I am looking for news I look to see what she has tweeted before anyone else.  Maybe this is just a manifestation of my childhood crush…that crazy talk.  I’d like to see Alyssa Milano take over network news.  She could tweet all day long and then at  news hour do the news.  Thats a great way to build the internet age evening newscaster.

When I analyze her tweets, I think it is her three word editorialization with link the the news that pulls me in.   I have been looking to see if anyone else has the same level of commitment to the news.

Thanks Alyssa Milano and follow her on twitter.

What happened to me this year?

Well I got hit by a drunk driver.  He totaled my Land Rover and the head on collision sent me to Shock Trauma.  At Shock Trauma I proceeded to puke on everything as they wheeled me in.  I remember peeing a ton.  I remember that after my CAT Scan, the doctor saying that there was nothing wrong with me.  My left forearm was bashed and my mouth still gets dry late at night when I see on coming traffic but whatever.  My life didn’t flash before my eyes, as much as me yelling, “Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit…Fuuuuuccckkkk!”

We lost the House.  I cannot stand the fact that we lost.  But we did we cant communicate.  This however has also made some future realities all to real.  First, we are going to be kicked off the appropriations committee.  Sucks.  This committee is like making it the Final Four, it is like dinner at the French Laundry, it is big time.  Poof! All gone.

Family Vacations Disney World and Hawaii.  Disney World is the happiest place on planet earth.  No scoffing.  It is.  It is built to make you happy, everyone works to make you happy.  The nieces and nephews loved it but so did I.  Its not like one show blew me away, it was the fact that everyone was so nice and they wanted you to enjoy it.  Hawaii what can be said that hasn’t been said already.  Hawaii is home.  Being their with family feels right.  I also got the darkest i have been in years and that made me supremely happy.  Hawaii has everything I love.  The only thing i dislike about Hawaii is that damn saddle road.  I thought i was going to puke.

I like raw oysters but I dont eat them that often until this year.  Thanks to Woodberry Kitchen.  I must have eaten hundreds of raw oysters…Choptanks, old Salts you name it I slurpeed it.  I put touches of cocktail sauce and in some cases a nice minoette.

Love eludes me.

I killed it! Everything I touch gets ruined.

Protocol Officer:  Is that your real name?  Please Advise.
Me:  Yes
PO: Wow
Me:  Fuck You!